


Living in a Moment You Could Die For

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-01
Updated: 2002-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26498545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: If the chips fall, which side will Mulder choose?
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Kudos: 1
Collections: TER/MA





	Living in a Moment You Could Die For

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).  
> AUTHOR NOTES: This is a slightly different version of an entry for the M/K Fight Club ""Fight to the Finish"" challenge which featured alternate endings of ""Existence"". The delightful FG took a turn at this for a quick beta. Her suggestions turned it into a better story. For those and countless other reasons I tip my hat to her. Her friendship and support are invaluable to me. Karen-Leigh made a key suggestion that in turn changed the meaning of an entire paragraph. Lucky for me she knew what I wanted to say and helped me say it.

  
**Living in a Moment You Could Die For  
by Phyre**

  
Even now, a little over 30 minutes later, one hand ready to push open the door, the other holding my weapon, I'm still amazed I didn't laugh out loud when I heard his request. Calm and direct; so typically Alex. 

There we were; guns drawn, safeties off, all of us ready to shoot first and ask questions later, and out of the blue Alex comes out with, "Why don't you guys take five and let me talk to Mulder. _Alone_." 

I could tell Skinner wanted to say something particularly nasty but his common sense must have kicked in because he just clamped his jaw tight and scowled behind his glasses. I guess he thought Alex still had that palm pilot. Which, of course, he did. 

Spineless, gutless wonder. How he ever made it to Assistant Director is beyond me. 

Just about that time our newest basement dweller decided it was time to stand his ground. "Hey, Krycek, why don't you—" 

"Agent Doggett." 

It was merely a warning, nothing more. Weeks earlier I'd promised Scully that I'd play nicely with the guy. I don't know what it is about him but he just annoys the shit right out of me. 

Alex should have known better than to mess with him in that garage. He's got that "by the books" demeanor written all over his face. 

From somewhere in the recesses of my mind Scully's voice whispered its gentle reminder about how he's not so bad, and worth the effort, etc., but I'm still hard pressed to find any redeeming qualities. Well, except for his tenacity. Now _that_ I like. 

Doggett and I locked eyes. 

I won. 

And then there was Scully, her arms wrapped protectively around her belly, shielding her unborn child. A miracle child, soon to be born of a barren mother. A perfectly normal child. Too perfect for life. Not too perfect for death. The implications weren't lost on me, or on anyone else for that matter. Was it mine? Did it even matter in the whole scheme of things? Probably not. 

Scully just stared ahead and mouthed a silent prayer. 

Alex's voice broke the heavy silence. 

"Five minutes, boys, that's all I'm asking. I mean it's not like I can actually go anywhere. And _you_ know I won't shoot you, right Mulder?" 

Patented smirk firmly in place, his eyes allowing just enough emotion. It was a nice show of control on his part and certainly true enough; his back was to the wall in more ways than one. 

Someone pulled an invisible string and three pairs of eyes turned to me. The ball had been firmly lobbed into my court. 

Hell yes, give me five minutes with him. 

Give me more. 

Give me a night. 

Give me the rest of my miserable existence, no matter how short that may be. 

"I'll be fine." 

I really didn't care if they wondered how I could be so sure. They didn't know about the times we took turns fucking each other through the mattress or the regret that followed each tryst. He was more than the cold-blooded assassin they painted. 

He was...more. 

He wouldn't shoot; of that I was absolutely certain. 

* * *

Behind closed doors we faced off. "And you're trying to accomplish...what is it again? Oh right, save all of humanity. Pardon me while I choke. What's in it for you, because this isn't the Alex Krycek I know." 

"Christ, Mulder, I could build a fucking house out of the stones you've thrown through the years. Would you just _listen_ to me for once—" 

"Is it mine?" 

I had to ask even though I knew the answer. 

Staring hard into my soul, his lips held their tight line and remained silent. 

Just as well, I would have made a lousy father anyway. It runs in the family. 

"I'm listening. Sell it to me." 

And he did. In graphic detail. When he finished all I could do was stand there, speechless. 

"Look, the longer we dick around in here, the less time any of us have. Read the map, Mulder, it says, 'You are here', and _here_ is ground zero. Billy Miles isn't dead, he's out there and he's coming back, and maybe not alone." 

The hair on my arms prickled like it does right before a good electrical storm. There's just something about being with Alex and being in danger. One heartbeat later the distance between his mouth and mine disappeared. It felt good kissing him again. I'd missed that mouth. It made me feel alive. 

"There's no time for this, Mulder." 

He wasn't very convincing in his protest so I dug deep into his jeans and was amply rewarded by warmth and hard muscle, and the quietly strangled moan that followed a moment later. 

We were pressed chest to chest. His breath felt warm against my cheek. "Is there time now?" 

"No." 

It was barely a word, even less than a whisper. More like the sensation of a whisper, and buried within was the sound of disappointment. 

I don't know why but I had to check; I skimmed my hands lightly over the back of his neck. It wasn't the most subtle move I'd ever made. I just had to be certain. Who's to say those little bastards weren't still in him? Who's to say one or two weren't laying in wait for the right time to rise and strike? 

I found nothing but smooth skin and taut muscle. An apology would have only made the act worse. I kept silent and waited. 

Angry eyes glowed, his mouth was ruthless and yet at the same time oddly forgiving for the supposed violation of...trust? Hardly trust, but a violation nonetheless. 

We ended breathless and wanting more, but time was of the essence. 

Doubts started to slam through. 

Why should I believe him? It's not as if he had a stellar record for telling the truth. I sure as hell didn't want to trust him on blind faith. I had no business gambling with Scully's life. Fucking him was one thing but this was completely different. 

"Tick tick, Mulder. We need to move." 

The question was whether to move with you or away from you? 

I wondered if it would be better to take chances with Skinner and Doggett, and whatever army they could dredge up. Scully trusted them. She was comfortable with them. Here I was deciding her fate and she had no say. 

"How are we going to get out of here?" I knew. I just wanted to hear his version. 

"I can get you, Scully and me out, and I don't give a shit about the other two. The question is are you willing to walk out there with a gun drawn and fire on them? If worse comes to worse, are you willing to die for her? For me? Can you trust that I'll take care of her, keep her safe? Can you believe that I would die for you and, yes, Scully, too? Because they don't, and they'll try to stop us. They don't know me like you do. So, how far are you willing to go, Mulder? I need to know." 

Funny, I'd never thought of Alex as the lesser of _any_ evil. 

With well-practiced detachment he continued. 

"If we clear the building I can get us to a safe place. It's stocked and livable. There's a doctor I trust, when—if—Scully goes into labor I'll call him. I know he'll come without question." 

I wanted to believe. 

I had to believe. 

One more kiss, forceful and crushing, the type that in any other time and place would've had us tearing at each other's clothes. 

In any other time and place... 

* * *

"You ready, Mulder?" 

Am I ready to follow the devil and walk into hell? 

"Yeah, let's go." 

* * *

TITLE: "Living in a Moment You Could Die For"   
AUTHOR: phyre   
RATING: R   
DISCLAIMER: They are so not mine. CC & the boys at Fox and 1013 own them. No one paid me for this; I did it out of love.   
STATUS: New and complete   
SPOILER ALERT: "Essence" and "Existence".   
WARNINGS: Just the usual slashy content stuff.   
ARCHIVE: MKFC, RaTB and ATR. All others please contact me.   
SUMMARY: If the chips fall, which side will Mulder choose?   
FEEDBACK: Please — [email removed]   
AUTHOR NOTES: This is a slightly different version of an entry for the M/K Fight Club "Fight to the Finish" challenge which featured alternate endings of "Existence".   
The delightful FG took a turn at this for a quick beta. Her suggestions turned it into a better story. For those and countless other reasons I tip my hat to her. Her friendship and support are invaluable to me.   
Karen-Leigh made a key suggestion that in turn changed the meaning of an entire paragraph. Lucky for me she knew what I wanted to say and helped me say it.   
---


End file.
